ChemSex Counselling
Wer'e now living in a world with so much instant action to 'connection'. The Hook Up apps can give us easy access to other people looking for fun and we can pretty much create a menu of what we want, what we like sexually, what kinks or fetishes we enjoy etc - and that can really bring a great dimension to any person's life if we manage it carefully and safeguard ourselves both physically and mentally. To be able to play like that is something we should celebrate and defend from the 'shamers 'and the critics that can be all around us. It's not for everyone of course, and many people will be prioritising a lifestyle that may highlight monogamy as a principal practice, but the important thing is we all have the opportunity to live our sexual lives aligned with our own values - to live the life we want to claim.
But with all this access to others, there's also more access to drugs and party chems than ever. This is where, again, we should respect other people's choices, and there are many people who are able to dip an occasional toe in that world, enjoy themselves and then step safely back into their other responsibilities - their careers, their primary relationships etc. If that's you and you want to 'health-check' your choices with me then Im all ears. Harm reduction and prioritising safe choices are absolutely legitimate positions to hold.
However, we also know that many people seem to have somehow lost their autonomy here - their ability to step safely in and out of that world. Thats where we need to explore what the 'connection' you seek really is. In his book Compulsive Sexual Behaviour, the writer and therapist Silva Neves writes, (to paraphrase) 'In the absence of meaningful connections, compulsive sexual behaviour can step in'. That insight opens us so much for exploration - what is it you're looking for with ChemSex? Is it a step towards liberated sex play? Is it a step away from the shaming we can all be subjected to as Queer people? Or is it the closest facsimile to authentic human connection that seems readily available to us right now?
If youd like to explore this area of your life together then get in touch.
SOME GOOD RESOURCES:
Lots of really great guidance and care ideas here at the classic Chemsex website created by David Stuart www.davidstuart.org
The charity www.controllingchemsex.com, created by the inspiring Ignacio Labayen De Inza offers a wide range of support and resources.
